Monday, November 9, 2015

Inspire: Know You Before There's No You

Okay, So I'm single. It's not a secret, it's been about a year. Of course it was a struggle for me in the beginning, but the days have gotten much brighter and there are so many things that I've learned being in this phase of my life. One of the biggest things that I learned about myself is how dependent I became on someone else to make me happy. This was evident in the degree of turmoil I experienced after the break-up. And it's interesting because I would have never admitted or realized that while in the relationship. While I understand there is a level of heartache that I would experience after this happened, I felt so lost, so lost it was sort of irrational. And everything I'd accomplished up to that point felt like it was for nothing, because I no longer had anyone to share it with. This was a serious problem. Why did I feel like this? The desire for companionship is natural, but needing damn near complete validation? That's not okay.

For the majority of my high school, college, and post college years I was in relationships. There's was maybe a little over a year of time where I was actually single, but that a lot of time to always be "with someone". Being single as an adult has allowed a lot more time for growth. I know a hell of a lot more about what I want, what I expect, and most of all more about myself. I'm actually a pretty dope individual with or without a man LOL, seriously I am!

I listened to an interview that Keke Palmer gave on The Breakfast Club, she addressed being single. I couldn't have summed it up better myself. Basically she states being single is fun because you find yourself. And you develop a self love that so great that you don't depend on another individual for happiness. And once you do find yourself in another relationship you able to give love without expecting the other person to fill certain voids. Do I think she saying you shouldn't expect love from anyone else your in a relationship with? No, but what she is saying is that someone else's love for you shouldn't validate your happiness. Listen to the interview here,

To sum this up, and get to the title of this post, get to know yourself. Whether your single or not it's important to know who you are, as a single human being. Learning who you are, accepting yourself, and most of all loving yourself are essential and creating the healthiest relationships with others. You won't just have happiness, but you'll have something even greater: Joy. So get to know yourself before you lose yourself in someone else.

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